Reflections in Ordinary Time

Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time - July 17, 2005

The Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how to pray as we should. The Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the heart knows what the Spirit means, for the Spirit intercedes on behalf of his holy ones according to God's will.

Romans 8: 26-27

A Father's Prayer

I used to think I knew a lot about prayer. I studied theology extensively as a young man, and I thought of myself as something of an expert in spiritual matters. I thought that some kinds of prayers were better than others, that the prayers of the liturgy and the psalms, for example, were more theologically sound than the simple prayers I learned as a child. Many of those devotional prayers of my childhood no longer seemed intellectual enough for me. But I didn't get it quite right.

Many years later I learned some important lessons about prayer while raising children, lessons not covered in the many books I had read or by the learned theologians who were my teachers. I learned them sitting up late at night praying the rosary as I waited for my three sons to come home safe. I began to see how little control we have over things and how much we need God's protection. My prayer ceased to be intellectual. It now went something like, "God, you can do anything you want to me; I deserve it. But please don't hurt my children." And even though my children are grown now, I still bargain with God this way.

Most of our prayers arise from our needs. This is not the purest form of prayer, but it is the way most of us pray. Prayer is supposed to be about God, not us. If we were all saints, we might be able to completely forget ourselves and turn our gaze lovingly upon God and contemplate him in tranquil silence. But we're not saints, at least not yet. Our prayers are very human. They are urgent, sometimes desperate, attempts to influence God, arising from needs so deep that we sometimes can't even articulate them, but can only express them "...with sighs too deep for words."

But God does not mind that most of our prayers are about ourselves. He doesn't even mind that we often forget to say thank you when he listens to us. He is our Father. He loves us. All he cares about is that we are safe. His attitude toward our prayers is, "If you need anything, just ask. That's what I'm here for." That's another lesson I learned from raising children.

Oh, and by the way, whoever you are up there who heard my prayers and kept my children safe all those years, I just want to say thank you. Thank you!

Read some traditional prayers.